It’s not a bad year; it’s a bad ear….day!
2008 is simply not going well. So far, I have managed to become seriously more in debt, making my previous status of penniless and poverty seem glamorous. I am hanging on to school by nothing but a hangnail and a prayer. My grades are good, (but I have another stab at College Algebra I this term – so we’ll see how long that lasts!) but affording college right now is out of the question, so I guess we will see what happens.
Troy’s parents are still dealing with the enormous aftermath of their Christmas Day house fire. They are getting really worn out physically and emotionally – necessitating Troy and his brothers to help out a great deal. The youngest brother doesn’t help much at all – in fact the only way he can be of help is by just staying out of the picture. Other wise, he's asking for a handout of some sort...it's maddening. The next oldest is working for the construction company doing the rebuilding – so his days are already filled with this project as well as others from previous commitments. The next oldest brother is struggling to make any time available he can - what with his two full-time jobs, wife and two young children, etc. Troy is the oldest and is just now going back on the road. The trucking industry has really died down and is not projected to pick up again until well into the second quarter of this year. This reality along with all the financial woes he is already waging war with have done a fantastic job on his self – esteem and his drive to provide for us.
A family member just matter-of-factly informed me that they will be taking a few thousand dollars from me – money that by law they can take, but ethically should not. This person knew full well that I was counting on that money to get my family: Troy, my children and I into a home of our own. Had this “decision we all agreed to” actually been just that, Troy and I would have saved all past payments to this person – and we would be in our own home right now. Ok, so God has chosen not to fulfill this need right now, but the necessity of it is so essentially vital; it is hard to fathom why we have to continue to wait. The kids need me and I need them. The continuation of our recovery from past demons requires us to be together.
Reminds me of a show that I watched on TV this weekend. It had different people that were trying to sell their homes asking anywhere from $700,000.00 – over a million for them and they were bemoaning the fact that if they didn’t sell immediately they would have to pay another mortgage payment of $10,000.00. (Good grief!) I would be happy to have a shack to pay a few hundred for and these people simply cannot live within their means.
Hmmm, I wonder, what they would do in my shoes?? They would think that it is the most impossible thing to do, but hey, I have more company than they do – there are more homeless people than there are wealthy. (Is this where the mentality of “Misery loves company” comes from?) I don’t know – but it is pretty ridiculous to put oneself in their position, but society frowns upon those in mine more. Like, one day we just wake up and say 'hey! I am so sick of having all of my needs met – I am going to be a homeless person for the next couple of years! That oughta be a blast! *sure*
Ok, in case any of you think that I am trying to throw a pity party for myself – consider this: The last time you saw a grubby looking guy on the side of the road holding a sign that says “WILL WORK FOR FOOD” have you given the poor soul a spare $100.00 bill burgeoning your wallet? Or even $1.00 for that matter? I think that it is safe to assume you didn’t. But you would consider helping a friend make that $10,000.00 house payment – or at least, feel sympathy for the poor dear…puh-leeeeze!
It’s no small wonder that our world is so messed up. With our priorities in such a gross fiasco, we have to really take an inventory of ourselves and make some serious changes. For instance: Have we considered that the guy holding that sign might have a family that he is trying to get food for? Or do we assume that what he really wants is money to score drugs or that he might drink it all away? Get real – with the job market the way it is (in the dumper, in case you didn’t know) he probably can’t “go out and get a real job” like I have heard so many say after sighting one of these people.
What about our own jobs? If we have one (or more) do we gripe and complain all the time about it? I bet that guy would give his left arm to trade places with one of us! When was the last time we really truly were thankful that we had work and a paycheck to represent it instead of focusing on the negative and undesirable aspects of it? Well, those of you who know me can tell that I am preaching at myself – not just others. This is my soapbox for the day – so I will shut up now. :)
Happy New Year everyone! ~ Bridget
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